had a bad dream last night.. also a a long slp last night too.. came back after my maths lect at 6pm and slpt all my way thru till the next morning at 8am.. ha. skipped my dinner.. =P but i was really tired.. mayb tt is why i had tt bad dream.. and it still kinda affect me.. =(

in my dream, i saw my dead grandpa while i was out in a outing wif my family.. but somehow onli i cld see him.. then he told me not to tell anyone abt his presence cos they wun be able to see him.. he here to like bring my great grandmother wif him.. at first it scared the hell out of me cos i tot it will be my grandmother.. but it was my great grandmother.. i'm closer to my grandmother so didnt want her to..

then he sadly told me to take care and kinda hint to me tt i will be next... cos i haven been taking care of myself well... so ya.. knew abt my impending death then...

scene change, suddenly i need to do a dance performance.. ( it muz be the up coming cultural night... ha.. but i not going to perform leh.. dunno why this dream of me performing..) then the perfromance didnt end well cos all of us wasnt prepared.. cldnt remembered our steps and trying to smoke out way thru.. and there were so many zilions of eyes watching us.. terrible...

remembered seeing myself crying for all those bad events.. then remember seeing my mum and granny, having a some chit chats wif them.. and inside me i wasnt feeling great cos of the tot of leaving them... then in my dream i was feeling depressed cos there is still so much i haven do yet but i know my end is coming... helplessness was engulfing me...

so basically it was a depression dream... and sometimes i wonder if it's a premonition for me... am i really gonna fall down hard this time round? haiz.. cos seriously i haven been taking gd care of myself ever since i hav entered uni... not tt i hav taken gd care of myself before i come uni but ever since uni has started for me, i seems to hav taken my health for granted and kinda torturing it....

all those late nights, all those consective trainings, all those irregular meals, all those can foods and instant noodles, all those styrofoams... gosh.. think i shld be glad that nothing serious has happened to me so far man...

but guess what hit me the most it the realisation tt i haven done things tt i wan to do and there are some things left unsaid or undone... regrets... haiz..

guess proscrasination will be one big evil thing i'm gonna get rid of.. ( well, i've been saying tt numerous times... seriously wonder if i'm ever going to get rid of it) and gonna be more organise and hardworking too... term is ending.. i wan my grades to improve... but frm the looks.. haiz.. doubt it will...

rambled @ 4:15 PM

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