hav u ever yearn for thing? and often not hav them? but wat if u cld hav ur wish granted and wala... there u hav it? how wld u feel? how wld u react? hmm... i dunno leh.. i'm hoping for something and in the midst of hoping, i know somehow it gives me joy for the imaginary space that i could built my fanstasy on.. although sometimes i will feel disappointed abt the truth for how far i am from my fastination.... but i noe generally i'm happy...

but wat if suddenly i'm given the chance of having wat i wan? how will i react? happy shock? surprised? seriously i dunno... but wat i'm fearng now is that... wat if i'm given wat i want.. but i didnt noe how to cherish wat i hav? or wat if i'm given wat i wan but i'm tooo shocked to react to it? ha.. know i'm thinking tooo much.. lol.. cos there is too many wat ifs now.. haha.. too hypothetical already... but tt is wat is flashing across my mind now... cos i know i'm those that tend to take things for granted which is bad bad bad... haiz..

why am i thinking abt all this thing? cos i got this hunch that i might be getting closer to wat i wan... but the prospects of me having tt frightened me... i'm not sure if i wld be ready to handle wat i want.. if i'm arent ready, i know i shldnt continue pursuing it... rite? hmm... mayb this hunch of mine is wrong and all i hav worry is jus unneccessary worries.. hmm..

but if the hnch is wrong, then think i will face another disapointment too.. it will then be the realisation that i'm still far frm it.. bleh... guess either ways i will still be worrying ba.. ha... mayb i'm jus a worry freak.. =P

rambled @ 1:39 PM

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