haiz... wen to see the P todae... why? cos of my failure to meet the criteria... haiz... now even my parents need to go see her... sian... dampens my mood after seeing her lor... she even ask mi wanna consider retaining... though she didnt really use the word retain but tt wat she meant lah... haiz... not say i got sth agst retaining.. jus tt it felt lousy lor... haiz... dunno how to say lah...  depressed was wat i feel lor...
now my parents are qstning mi going out to study... they dun seem to believe it helps mi.. which i tink it do.. cos if i didnt go out study... tink my results will be much worse.. wld it?? haiz... suddenly feeling like my life is like sooo screwed up... mayb it's cos i've been slacking tooo much... i'm jus reaaping what i've sowed earlier... haiz... really depressed... really wan to get out of tis situation i'm in now... can i? and i wan to get out if it fast...
told the P i wan to take my As... so dere is no turning back for mi now.. cos if i wanna retain i can onli do it now... cos of the SPA... ya.... if not i'll be stuck in the middle.. cant go uni n cant retain yr 2... so i am left wif onli one choice which is to mug real hard and get decent grades for my As... yup yup... but time is really running out.. and it jus seems tt i hav tons of things tt are still alien to mi... haiz... seriously tink my attitude gotta change ba... attitude determines all rite?
haiz... cant see the rainbow... cos the sky is surrounded by dark clouds... where is my sunshine?

rambled @ 10:36 PM

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